September 1, 2012. “The Shell Game Shuffle” was a parody of FAU administrators’ shenanigans originally conceived in 2009 by then-UFF-FAU President James Tracy and shelved. Readers may wish to assess the ditty’s continuing relevance today.
Sung to the tune of “The Curley Shuffle”
They transfer funds over here
Add some funds over there
They do the shell game shuffle
They build a building here
And a building there
They do the shell game shuffle
They’re bigshot administrators
Worthy of your praise
They’ll move some decimal points
To raise their pay!
Low faculty salaries
It’s the FAU way
The grunts are lucky to have jobs
And second mortgages to pay!
They close a program here
And a department there
They do the shell game shuffle
They float some bonds over here
Layoff some faculty there
They do the shell game shuffle
Snub a public records request here
And a grievance there
They do the shell game shuffle
You left the bargaining unit
You say, “I need more pay.”
They’ll move some decimal points
They’ll surely find a way!
(The money’s not in the rafters
It’s in the keyboard strokes)
They transfer funds over here
Add funds over there
They do the shell game shuffle
(Updated lyrics for 2012:)
They’ll drive chairs and deans insane
With their Kafkaesque forms
Abruptly change policies
And leave you uninformed!
They raise a course cap here
And a course cap there
They do the shell game shuffle …
(To be continued)